Ever since I learned how to make my own hollandaise sauce, I’ve been unable to look eggs benedict in the eye without thinking how much goddamn butter is in there. As a result, I’ve had to reevaluate my poached eggs and toast to find a less artery-clogging alternative to the classic condiment. Thankfully, avocados offer a solution that won’t leave you crying into your bathroom scales, and with a little artful kitchen magic, you can turn them into Guacamole!
Holy Moly, Guacamole!
Equipment
- 1 Medium Sized Mixing Bowl
Ingredients
- 250g (9oz) Avocado (Approximately 2 Avocados)
- 100g (3oz) Roma Tomatoes
- 45g (1½oz) Red Onion
- 8g (2 Cloves) Garlic
- 10g (1) Fresh Green Jalapeno Pepper (Substitute 2 Bird's Eye Chilies)
- 3g (½tsp) Tabasco Sauce
- 4g (½tsp) Salt
- 20g (1 Lime) Fresh Lime Juice
- 10g (¼ Lemon) Fresh Lemon Juice
Instructions
- Taking care not to maim yourself, carefully peel and de-stone 250g worth of Avocados, chop the pulp into manageable chunks and pop the lot into a medium sized bowl
- Take a potato masher and go at the Avocado until it resembles a chunky green mess
- Next, chop 45g of Red Onion and 100g of Roma Tomatoes as small as you can manage and throw them in with the Avocado
- In addition, peel and crush 8g of Garlic and de-seed a 10g Jalapeno pepper. Chop the whole lot into tiny pieces and add it in with the Avocado mix
- Finally, toss in 4g of Salt, 3g of Tabasco Sauce, 20g of Fresh Lime Juice and 10g of Fresh Lemon Juice. Then give everything a brisk stir with a wooden spoon
- Transfer the resulting green marvel to a rustic bowl and serve to your delighted guests
- Consume within 48 hours and store with plastic wrap pressed tightly to the surface of the Guacamole to prevent the villainous air from de-colouring your beautiful Mexican sauce
Nutrition
Some Extra Notes for the Guacamole Enthusiast
Selecting Your Avocados
In order to select the best avocados for your satisfying Mexican dip I’m afraid you’re going to have to be that person who goes around the greengrocer’s fondling fruit. So, pick one up and give it a gentle squeeze, preferably while making direct eye contact with a complete stranger, and see if it yields slightly to your touch. The best avocados for guacamole will sit half way between rock hard and super soft, giving a little when you squeeze them without losing their shape. If you live somewhere where you can choose the variety of your exotic green fruit, go for the ones labelled ‘Hass’ as they will provide the tastiest results.
The Role of Roma Tomatoes in Guacamole
These wondrous squishy spheres lend themselves to guacamole due to their deliciously meaty interior. They essentially provide the avocado fetishist a chance to add an extra dimension to their dip without bogging it down with too much liquid. If the availability of roma tomatoes proves scarce in your particular region, however, you can substitute them for whatever tomatoes you can find. Just remember to select the firmest ones you can get your hands on as juicy tomatoes may waterlog your guacamole!
The Perils of the Avocado
If I were to ask you what you thought was the world’s most dangerous fruit, I imagine that coconut, jackfruit or durian would spring to mind due to their potential to hurl themselves from their lofty perches onto the unsuspecting heads of those wandering by. Despite this however, a far more unassuming fruit has claimed the title of the most perilous of its kind, and seeing as this is a post about guacamole, you’ve probably already guessed that I’m talking about the avocado.
Not a major killer of sorts, the avocado is responsible for the most hospital visits of any other member of the fruit community. This mighty achievement mostly comes down to one thing, cutting towards the hand with a sharp knife and applying a little too much pressure because of the stone. So, as you venture forth to make your own scrumptious guacamole, please bear this in mind and take care when opening those squishy green orbs.
How to Eat that Lovely Guacamole
Get ready for a taste sensation as you chow down on that home crafted guacamole, but other than shamelessly spooning it into your mouth while nobody watches, how should you serve that lovely green gunk? Well, classically you can scoop it into your face crevice with a neutral flavoured tortilla chip, drop a little into a taco, or serve is as a side to a bowl of beef chili and rice. For me, however, I like to use it as a breakfast food and slather it thickly onto a slice of toasted homemade bread and act as a bed for my freshly poached egg.
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